That's how I approached the conversation with himself.
Cuz I approached the subject with the girl....
I mean, afterall--there's a mom, a dad and a baby.
That's a family.
And really....there's a tradition to start....for them, for their own family.
They need to decide what that's going to look like.
I love the girl dearly. And we dearly love the bug.
I even kinda sorta might like the pushover....
But--Christmas Eve night is midnight, candlelight services--and it's for tucking the children in bed with visions of sugarplums, right?
And Christmas morning is for sneaking down the stairs to discover what's in your stocking and what's been left under the tree......right?
I know--pretty old fashioned and limited understanding of what's tied into the traditions of the Holiday, but.....
She talked about being conflicted.
She's always come home to be with her mom for the Holiday.
And as she's grown, she's kept to coming home on the Eve of the Holiday (with the one exception of the Holiday spent at her Aunt's home).
This year she's torn...she wants to be home with her child.
And there's a desire to begin their Holiday morning traditions... in their own home.
I wasn't far off in that 'old fashioned understanding' of the Holiday.
Midnight service, tucking in her child--watching the awefilled eyes on the discovery of what's been gifted under their tree.......all things she spoke to wanting for the bug.
How could I not want this, too? For her, for them.....for the bug......
Really, I knew when I opened the box and gave her permission, I was giving her my blessing. Not that she necessarily needed it....it was just the right thing to do for them, for their peace of mind.
That girl can assume responsibility that's just not hers when it comes to our relationship.
Ah yes......she is her mother's child....
So.
We'll have a time for gift giving.
A time to dine and celebrate and laugh....and love.
And she'll have her Holiday with her child--in their home.
And she'll tuck the bug in tight.
And she'll give her those visions of sugarplums--I just know she will.
And she'll have her Holiday with her child--in their home.
And she'll tuck the bug in tight.
And she'll give her those visions of sugarplums--I just know she will.
4 comments:
Whatever it has to be is the way it will have to be.
Way back almost 40 years ago, I stayed home with my own family and we started our own Christmas tradition. It broke the hearts of all the parents, but we felt we had to do it.
Then, my daughter started having kids and it happened to us. My heart was broken, but I wasn't angry as i understood totally.
I'll be posting that story in a week or so as Christmas nears.
This year, a compromise. Eve at my house. Then, go home and do the Day at home. We'll come over in the late morning/early afternoon for more food and laughs and family fun.
Peace.
one of the highlights of my childhood was the drive over to my grandparents as it neared Christmas - we used to count the decorated trees that we saw from the windows on each side of the car (the person in the middle had to choose a side to belong to). . .
another was watching my mother decorate the tree (she didn't let us "help", as she had to do it perfectly her way)
my children don't really have grandparents like that, and I so miss that for them
they decorate the tree (and then I carefully move a few things around later)
just think how much you'll be looking forward to seeing them all when you do get together!
in the meantime, you have that lovely Brit to pamper you with his undivided attention. . .
hugs
XX
of course she will.
Well we had that too. The year Eldest spent Christmas with Northern Girl's family. Then the year Youngest and her partner went to Lapland and then the year Middle girl and Mr Middle had their first married Christmas together.
Fact is, we're not often all together as a family for Christmas these days. But the love and closeness isn't disturbed in the least.
It's wonderful to think of your child bringing up her child as you did her.
Hugs.
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