Sales Pitch

I love when the phone rings in this house.

It's one of two things--someone trying to sell me something, or someone trying to sell me something.

I'm on the 'do not call' list for telemarketers. They call me anyway. They're not really selling me anything, dontchaknow--they're just letting me know of this great new service that's available now.

I'm on the 'do call' list for alcoholics/addicts/and partners thereof. They try to sell me all sorts of things....... They do call. Notsomuch BEFORE, which is what I hope for.....but I get to hear the sales pitch afterwards and sometimes during.

Yesterday was a during kind of moment that started at 8a.m. with a self report of:

'I'm drinking liquor. . . . .And I'm having chest pains.'

I'm convinced intoxication wasn't the issue in the decision making at that point.

Just that insane, stupid, distorted diseased mind saying 'do nothing--if you do something people will know you're drinking again'.

Death/help/death/help...... Seemed like a no-brainer to me, but I well know alcoholic/addict thinking cuz I still have it.

Did I stare at the phone after the conversations and wait for the next call to come in?

Yes.

Nitro is a wonderful thing.

It relieves angina symptoms and lets you get on with the course of your day. At least until the next episode.

Bit like an intervention with some of us folks.

It works for a chunk of time...until the next episode.

It's a heartbreaking deal--figuratively and literally.
It'd be good to remember that day in day out. But things fall out of our brains. And denial relies on that happening.

I'll get to the meeting this morning...visit with some folks and try to stay focused on what's works for me and a few countless others.
Maybe the fella will show up.
Maybe not.

I'll be there either way.