When we own our power to take care of ourselves - set a boundary, say no, and change an old pattern - we may get flack from some people. That's okay. We don't have to let their reactions control us, stop us, or influence our decision to take care of ourselves.
We don't have to control their reactions to our process of self-care. That is not our responsibility. We don't have to expect them not to react either.
People will react when we do things differently or take assertive action to nurture ourselves, particularly if our decision in some way affects them. Let them have their feelings. Let them have their reactions. But continue on your course anyway.
If people are used to us behaving in a certain way, they'll attempt to convince us to stay that way to avoid changing the system. If people are used to us saying yes all the time, they may start mumbling and murmuring when we say no. If people are used to us taking care of their responsibilities, feelings, and problems, they may give us some flack when we stop. That's normal. We can learn to live with a little flack in the name of healthy self-care. Not abuse, mind you flack.
If people are used to controlling us through guilt, bullying, and badgering, they may intensify their efforts when we change and refuse to be controlled. That's okay. That's flack too.
We don't have to let flack pull us back into old ways if we've decided we want and need to change. We don't have to react to flack or give it much attention. It doesn't deserve it. It will die down.

2 comments:
Boy did I need this reading this morning. That so describes the last two weeks I've spent with my Mom. I took a lot of "flack" for not being and doing what she wanted. I'm home now; wiser, tired, and a little heartbroken but glad that I did what I could. I can't help her attitude. At long last I realize she will never be the mom I needed; too self-centered and mean for that. So glad to be back with my hubby and kitties. What happens with her will just be what happens.
"We don't have to control their reactions to our process of self-care. That is not our responsibility. We don't have to expect them not to react either.
Let them have their feelings. Let them have their reactions. But continue on your course anyway."
Amen!
AWESOME fairy thought, Mel! And much thanks for sharing it!
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