1-800-G-D-HELP

I forgot how easy it is.

Seriously, how can you forget how easy it is?

How could YOU forget how easy it is? 

*sigh*

The drive to work is 50 minutes.
I've been blaring music, listening to audio books—and I 'got around to' deciding maybe I needed to stop whining about not having time to do some things and DO some things.  There's 50  minutes twice a day and I decided to devote time to list out 10 things I'm grateful for (takes a whopping 2 minutes).  Wasn't that big of me…….

This morning I had a 50 minute conversation with G-d.

It is SO easy—and so humbling and fulfilling and affirming and warm and……..easy………

I have a 1-800-G-D-HELP hotline—I hear tell that most folks do. 

It's the number I dial when my back's up against the wall, when my *** is in trouble, when the bottom's falling out from under me…….

It's the number I call when I'm feeling angry about my circumstances, when I'm feeling bad for someone else's circumstances, when I'm angry cuz I don't GET it…….when I'm sad cuz it ain't fair or right or just…….

Today I dialed it to just 'catch up' with the Big Guy.  To let Him know how I was doing, what I was thinking, what I was missing and struggling with and what crappy way of doing things I was still working on……

And yaknow, instead of being silent (cuz that's what I anticipated given our conversations had been pretty rushed and void of substance…..) ….instead of being silent, He asked what I wanted.

Not in that blaming/shaming /accusatory, looking for the ulterior motive…….but in a quiet, caring, loving way.

What do YOU want?

And then it changed.  It changed to:

WHAT do you want?

And then it changed again……

What do you WANT?

And ya know……no matter which way it was asked, I had only one answer…..

I don't know.

I don't  know.

I …..don't know.