Working half days is a plot.
Yesterday was decent. I did a bunch of 'stuff' at the workplace that was required and I simply left to go home and 'veg' on the couch. Or so I thought....
But I've discovered the 'plot'.
Working half days while WPIML is here--is an open invitation to having coffee and getting your inventory taken.
Sheeeeshhhhh....
Yesterday was decent. I did a bunch of 'stuff' at the workplace that was required and I simply left to go home and 'veg' on the couch. Or so I thought....
But I've discovered the 'plot'.
Working half days while WPIML is here--is an open invitation to having coffee and getting your inventory taken.
Sheeeeshhhhh....
Yup. I'm thin. Thanks for noticing.
You like that it's noticed.
Well, hello!!!! k......wait.....PART of me likes that it's noticed. The other part is pissed off that it's noticed and commented on and questioned as some kind of evil plot I have--
No, no...*I* have the evil plot. I'm about to ask the question you don't want to answer.
Oh THAT'S why you're smirking!!!!
Pretty extreme package on the outside, Mel--it's got everybody's attention. So....wanna tell me what it's conveniently drawing the attention FROM?
It's not like I didn't know the question would happen.
It's not like WPIML is the first person to ask the damn question.
It's that I feel compelled to tell him the freaking TRUTH.
I ain't happy.
Oh, I have my moments of happiness....you know, bits and pieces that the little things in life bring to me. It's not like I'm walking around like and Eeyore, 'woe is me' about this, that and everything inbetween.
Face it, I know how to 'act as if'.....and really, I DO have those moments of happiness that the little things in life bring to me.
But--I'm not HAPPY, happy.
I'm not centered in all that's good and true.
I'm not thrilled about the adventures that life keeps plonking down in front of me.
You like that it's noticed.
Well, hello!!!! k......wait.....PART of me likes that it's noticed. The other part is pissed off that it's noticed and commented on and questioned as some kind of evil plot I have--
No, no...*I* have the evil plot. I'm about to ask the question you don't want to answer.
Oh THAT'S why you're smirking!!!!
Pretty extreme package on the outside, Mel--it's got everybody's attention. So....wanna tell me what it's conveniently drawing the attention FROM?
It's not like I didn't know the question would happen.
It's not like WPIML is the first person to ask the damn question.
It's that I feel compelled to tell him the freaking TRUTH.
I ain't happy.
Oh, I have my moments of happiness....you know, bits and pieces that the little things in life bring to me. It's not like I'm walking around like and Eeyore, 'woe is me' about this, that and everything inbetween.
Face it, I know how to 'act as if'.....and really, I DO have those moments of happiness that the little things in life bring to me.
But--I'm not HAPPY, happy.
I'm not centered in all that's good and true.
I'm not thrilled about the adventures that life keeps plonking down in front of me.
I'm not convinced of the plan that the Big Guy has for me.
And I'm pretty well into the proverbial question "Conceited or convinced?" that's always posed to me when I find myself in the midst of all that 'gunk'.
Convinced of the plan that G-d has for my life.....or conceited and thinkin' it's all about MEMEME....the where's MINE.....the what about MEMEME......
I can answer that one.
WPIML didn't NEED me to answer that one.
The answer is I'm NOT HAPPY.
And I have a list of things Mel isn't happy with/about.
Good gawd.....A LIST.......
And I'm pretty well into the proverbial question "Conceited or convinced?" that's always posed to me when I find myself in the midst of all that 'gunk'.
Convinced of the plan that G-d has for my life.....or conceited and thinkin' it's all about MEMEME....the where's MINE.....the what about MEMEME......
I can answer that one.
WPIML didn't NEED me to answer that one.
The answer is I'm NOT HAPPY.
And I have a list of things Mel isn't happy with/about.
Good gawd.....A LIST.......
And the question is "Whaddaya gonna do about it?"
The answer to that involves a surrender.
The answer to that involves going back to some basics.
The answer to that involves a letting go and an acceptance of what IS today.
You're not lookin' like you wanna do those things....
He's right.
I don't.
So apparently I'm 'okay' with being unhappy, off center and
The answer to that involves a surrender.
The answer to that involves going back to some basics.
The answer to that involves a letting go and an acceptance of what IS today.
You're not lookin' like you wanna do those things....
He's right.
I don't.
So apparently I'm 'okay' with being unhappy, off center and
\_______________________________________________/this far away from the source of all that's good and true?
Nah. I'm genuinely NOT okay with it.
(uhoh......here comes that 'just=justification' that I know and love so well.....)
I just don't wanna surrender what's wrong with me to get what's right for me.
Nah. I'm genuinely NOT okay with it.
(uhoh......here comes that 'just=justification' that I know and love so well.....)
I just don't wanna surrender what's wrong with me to get what's right for me.
That's just plain STUPID on my part.
*sigh*
And he wants the freaking list.......
*sigh*
And he wants the freaking list.......
*sigh*
HOW long is he here for again?
Oh.......just a freaking MONTH!
Oh.......just a freaking MONTH!
*sigh*
10 comments:
I'm with you, dearheart. . .
. . .it's hard, isn't it
. . .it's ok not to be happy right now (so people keep telling me)
. . .it's ok for those small moments of joy not to be a big enough deal to swing the balance on the happy-o-meter
. . .and it's ok to have the belief that this moment, these moments will pass
after all, these are just the circumstances of today - they are not your destiny...
remember
backatya
but, it is also ok to "let it out", for it to "be heard" and for it to be "what it is" right now
that's ok, isn't it?
and I heard you, dearheart, loud and clear
I heard you and I'll hear you the next time you write it and I'll be listening every day until the circumstances of today turn into a tomorrow where you feel slightly better about all this stuff
because that tomorrow will come, won't it - as it had done before
I'll shut up now
(but you won't get rid of me)
I'm with you, dearheart. . .
. . .it's hard, isn't it
. . .it's ok not to be happy right now (so people keep telling me)
. . .it's ok for those small moments of joy not to be a big enough deal to swing the balance on the happy-o-meter
. . .and it's ok to have the belief that this moment, these moments will pass
after all, these are just the circumstances of today - they are not your destiny...
remember
backatya
but, it is also ok to "let it out", for it to "be heard" and for it to be "what it is" right now
that's ok, isn't it?
and I heard you, dearheart, loud and clear
I heard you and I'll hear you the next time you write it and I'll be listening every day until the circumstances of today turn into a tomorrow where you feel slightly better about all this stuff
because that tomorrow will come, won't it - as it had done before
I'll shut up now*
(*but you won't get rid of me)
sending rest and relaxation and peacefilled wishes and thoughts
oops!! obviously blogger thought it needed to publish that twice
sorry
*blushes awkwardly*
Musta wanted me to hear the message? LOL
Can I put blogger in the hallway with the reading fairies?
JUST askin'......
:-D
<------ is in the hall
shamefacedly
apologies. . .
Oh quit it, silly person! LOL
I know ya care about me.
And I KNOW there ain't a taxi to be had for 40 miles.......BUT.....I know where there's a van and lots of willing grown-ups!
GOOD plan!!!!!
<-- picking up the phone
Now....come outta that hallway, silly!!!!!
I'll come out if you promise to get on the blower and sort this out and then sit down with a good cup of coffee and take five for yourself
deal?
(it's ok, I don't really do making deals. . .)(and I'm glad you know I care, cos I do)
Great therapy here...
I know the not-happy thing...I think I am there at time...you know I have mentioned it without saying it...
But as you and I both know...we have a lot to be happy about...or thankful for...
So, when do we work the real happy in...
I do think we need to make changes...
When, how...still trying to figure it out...let you know if I find a pattern for it...
Love that WPIYL.
It's good to have someone around like him.
I'm rethinking wanting a WPIML....not so sure I want someone calling me on my....stuff....
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