I have to stand up today...
In front of people.
Ick. *sigh*
I'm not fond of standing at the podium.
I hear tell I'm good at it--still, I'm not fond of it.
I get an uneasy feeling.
....I think that's a good thing.
I don't ever want to get too comfortable.
I have to stand up today, in front of people 'like me'.
And I get to decide, at that moment, exactly what it is that I want to say.
It's been a long time since the first WPIML advised me of what to do when I was called to the podium to receive: "Thank G-d, thank your family, thank the fellowship of A.A. Then sit down and shut the f*** up."
Smart man. Wisened man.
He wasn't big on anniversaries or medallion receiving or long speeches about what it was like that glorified the wreckage and the victimization we all did--but he saw the principle of 'hope' happen in that bitty piece of time when sober time was recognized for the 'we' thing that it is....and that gave it value.
Hope.
There's hope in that moment....
I have to stand up today--
In front of people.
Ick. *sigh*
I'm not fond of standing at the podium.
I hear tell I'm good at it--still, I'm not fond of it.
I get an uneasy feeling.
....I think that's a good thing.
I don't ever want to get too comfortable.
I have to stand up today, in front of people 'like me'.
And I get to decide, at that moment, exactly what it is that I want to say.
It's been a long time since the first WPIML advised me of what to do when I was called to the podium to receive: "Thank G-d, thank your family, thank the fellowship of A.A. Then sit down and shut the f*** up."
Smart man. Wisened man.
He wasn't big on anniversaries or medallion receiving or long speeches about what it was like that glorified the wreckage and the victimization we all did--but he saw the principle of 'hope' happen in that bitty piece of time when sober time was recognized for the 'we' thing that it is....and that gave it value.
Hope.
There's hope in that moment....
I have to stand up today--
...In front of people--some that are brand new in the fellowship, new to the idea that perhaps they can have different if they just do different.
I remember what an impossibility that seemed for me.
Perhaps I really could have different if I just did different--
Oh....but if I only knew what 'different' was suppose to look like....
I have to stand up today.
I remember what an impossibility that seemed for me.
Perhaps I really could have different if I just did different--
Oh....but if I only knew what 'different' was suppose to look like....
I have to stand up today.
Maybe I'll tell them how I was graced.
I'd grown up hearing 'do as I say, not as I do'...and of course I did what they did....and of course I got what they got....
Maybe I'll just tell them how I was graced to be aligned with someone who told me "Do what I do.", who was a living example of the solution.
I'd grown up hearing 'do as I say, not as I do'...and of course I did what they did....and of course I got what they got....
Maybe I'll just tell them how I was graced to be aligned with someone who told me "Do what I do.", who was a living example of the solution.
I did what they did.
I still do.
And I have different today.
I have so much different....it's unreal....
I have to stand up today.
I'll just tell them how graced I truly AM....
......And I'll thank G-d,
my family,
and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous who showed me what different was suppose to look like.
I still do.
And I have different today.
I have so much different....it's unreal....
I have to stand up today.
I'll just tell them how graced I truly AM....
......And I'll thank G-d,
my family,
and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous who showed me what different was suppose to look like.
And then I'll "sit down and shut the f*** up".
7 comments:
dearheart
you are graced
and so are those who know you
<----- hopes it goes well (the standing up in front of people bit!)(well, all of it, but you know what I mean)
(I could write a whole lot more, but I'll sit down and shut the f*k up!)
I guess hope is what it's about. And that's a great thing to have in life at any time.
Even if you do have say it from the podium.
xx
Fantastic! Don't forget to mention that you did it One Day at a Time.
I am very proud to know you.
Peace and love and hugs.
((((((((((((((MEL)))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((AA (and all addiction programs))))))))))))))))
I feel graced just to know you as a blog friend.
You are indeed graced with a beautiful soul.
I hope it went well.
much love
Lia
xx
Ps, thanks for your comments on my blog, it really helps. xx
I am applauding with the tears that course down my cheeks...
and i am sitting her shuttin up.
how did it go?
and yay you.
Oh Mel.
I hope you told them that and I'm sure they looked and listened and had hope for themselves. That's what it's all about I think.
Hugs to a brave and shining lady.
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