Talk to Me

After years of predictably unpredictable behavior.

Years of structure and consistency in how he worked with me.

Years of assignments, years of 'homework'…..

Years and years and YEARS of going over what was in those books.

Over and over and over and over again.

And over again.  Y.E.A.R.S. ……..

"Talk to me".

The book sat on the table and the agenda was suddenly changed …..without my permission.

TALK to me?!  What the hell…..talk to him about WHAT?

"Talk to me."

Right……  So, I tried to con my way through a conversation by asking him questions and his answer came back to:  "Talk to me".

I tried a bit of manipulation, a bit of pleading, a bit of prodding for a topic even….and it came back to the same request. 

I 'talked' with wise-person-in-my-life EVERY DAY……about readings, about principles, about traditions and steps and concepts and what to do with the ***holes in my life (of which there was one…….me…..)…….we TALKED all.the.time.  Daily, for goodness sakes……FOR.YEARS.

Uncomfortable in the silence, I even opened the book that sat on the table and invited  him to pick any line, any paragraph—pick "page 62" which describes my selfish/self centered ways to a 'T'….  Pick a whole chapter—but let's get back to the 'normal' agenda and off the silly notion that I needed to talk with him about something.

The book got quietly closed and placed back on the table…… 

And when the time ended-- I stuck my head into the kitchen to tell his wife that maybe he had a stroke or a brain tumor or something—cuz he was acting all kinds of weird and telling me to 'Talk to him'.

She had one of those 'all knowing' smiles sometimes……and she used it when she told me "All is well'.

There've been so many things that were bourne from that experience.  Huge  lessons.

Layers of lessons…..  Living lessons that connected the dots to the years and years of pouring over books.

And the lessons still continue—it's a whole new layer when I look at another one just like me and say "Talk to me."