Alien at the podium

Gimme a few hundreds drunks to talk to any day of the week.

I think I've made my position on public speaking relatively clear.
I HATE IT.
Now, I'm told I'm GOOD at it--but I'm pretty convinced they're schmoozing me cuz they don't like it themselves.......but fine--I understand it's 'required'.

I do have to pause when I walk center stage and stand at that darn thing. It's too routine to introduce myself in the usual "Hi, I'm Mel and I'm an alcoholic."
Fact remains that I HAVE done that on occasion--thankfully it's gotten me a laugh or two in front of some pretty tough crowds.
NOT planned and I'm thinkin' it needs to not be a part of the repetiore!

But yep--I have to go 'talk' in front of human beings again.
"Hi, I'm Mel and I'm an alien" might work. LOL I feel like one most days anyways--why not let that be known.

I've decided that I get 'volunteered' for moments like this cuz no one else WANTS to and any 'nice' thing said about my 'charisma' and ability to 'talk a good talk' is purely self serving on the part of the complimentOR.
Heck, I rarely remember exactly what I talked about when it's all said and done.

This is good, because it means I was saying what was true and it wasn't a big deal.
This is bad, because it means when folks come up to you after the fact and call attention to something you said and you respond with a "I said that, huh........" it only affirms the fact that you truly are an alien.

OH BOY! I get to stand at a podium today!
Yippee!!!!

*rolling eyes*