Sleeping With Bread

Blessings--

Lots of them.
It would seem an abundance has filled my senses.

They've been there the whole time..oh how my eyes miss them sometimes.

And there's new ones--

There's 'that look' that comes when the pushover looks at the wee one.
There's the softening, the lost in love thing that happens when the girl hears her stirring.
The gift of life itself is amazing......beyond amazing.
And there's the gift that I get to be here to witness it all.

It's Mother's Day.
I grew up without a mother....
Today, I get to deliver the prezzie for the girl and bless her for the gift she's given the world.

I get to hug her.....AND I get to hold the wee one.

Ha!

Is there a better prezzie for Mother's Day than that?

Whoa....Smart Fairy!

Often, we can learn much about ourselves from the people to whom we are attracted.

As we grow, we learn we can no longer form relationships solely on the basis of attraction.

We learn to be patient, to allow ourselves to take into account important facts, and to process information about that person.

What we are striving for is a healthy attraction to people.

We allow ourselves to be attracted to who people are, not to their potential or to what we hope they are.

The more we work through our family of origin issues, the less we will find ourselves needing to work through them with the people we're attracted to.
Finishing our business from the past helps us form new and healthier relationships.
The more we overcome our need to be excessive caretakers, the less we will find ourselves attracted to people who need to be constantly taken care of.
The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect.

This is a slow process.
We need to be patient with ourselves.
The type of people we find ourselves attracted to does not change overnight.
That does not mean we need to allow it to control us.

The fact is, we will initiate and maintain relationships with people we need to be with until we learn what it is we need to learn - no matter how long we've been 'in the process'.
No matter who we find ourselves relating to, and what we discover happening in the relationship, the issue is still about us, and not about the other person.

That is the heart, the hope, and the power of the process.

We can learn to take care of ourselves during the process of initiating and forming relationships. We can learn to go slowly.
We can learn to pay attention.
We can allow ourselves to make mistakes, even when we know better.
We can stop blaming our relationships on God and begin to take responsibility for them.
We can learn to enjoy the healthy relationships and remove ourselves more quickly from the dysfunctional ones.
We can learn to look for what's good for us, instead of what's good for the other person.


God, help me pay attention to my behaviors during the process of initiating relationships. Help me take responsibility for myself and learn what I need to learn.

I will trust that the people I want and need will come into my life.
I understand that if a relationship is not good for me, I have the right and ability to refuse to enter into it - even though the other person thinks it may be good for him or her.
I will be open to the lessons I need to learn about me in relationships, so I am prepared for the best possible relationships with people.

Plans for the day....

<-- has this book and plans for the patio today.

Cuz it's been a very long, very hectic week. But a very awesome, joyf filled week, I have to say.

Soooooo....grass was mowed yesterday, patio's gonna be swept and washed off today. Maybe flower buying will happen! (well, at least round ONE of flower buying....LOL) Or maybe we'll just skip getting in the car/Jeep and opt to keep ourselves grounded at the little yellow house on the corner.

The wee one is tucked safely at home with the girl and the weakest link. LOL (....k...perhaps 'the pushover' would be a bit more kindly sounding?) All is well......'cept I was notified by the girl this morning that she STILL doesn't like mornings. I did suggest she get over it and 'embrace' that time rather than curse it. LOL That didn't work, of course.....yet...

BUT-- I'm thinkin' today will be all about REST.
O
M
Gosh is rest a needed thing.

So, rest it is.

A good book.
Some suntea brewing in the patio's sun....and maybe another visit by the 'scout' hummer!

Yup...he was sitting on the feeder last night taking his 'before bed' sip!

Life--with a patio, with a good book, with suntea...with SUNSHINE--is GOOD!!!!

Fairy Thought for the Day

We all perform a balancing act, trying to keep perspective on what's important and what is not.

Sometimes we fall: crazy drivers cut into our lane; the supermarket line takes forever; the baby's crying.

At those times a minor insult at work or a cross word from a friend is just too much, and we lose our cool - and our balance.

We've been impulsive, living in an all-or-nothing, black-and-white world, completely out of balance.

Minor slights became major issues.

We were subject to any whim our distorted thoughts cooked up.

We've had lots of practice being out of balance, so we have to work harder to regain it.

We have a new focus, we are able to remind ourselves of what's important in our lives.

We're conscious, too, of our powerlessness over people, places, and things.

These ideas were new to us at first.

We thought we had to control everything and everyone around us, and so we failed.

But now we're learning how to keep our balance, and recover it when we've lost it.

With practice, we get better every day.

We're learning how to let go and let God.

Today help me remember what's important.
Help me stay balanced.

The Weakest Link

Becoming a Nanna is tough work.

Seems to me I recall folks telling me how 'easy' it was--
--they lied!

Or maybe they did it differently.
All I know is I'm bone weary.
Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth--grab this, pick up that, offer this, offer that, rescue, charm, rescue, field the visitors, charm some more....pick up, pack up, grab this, call them, text her, run this there, run that here....ack.....

Sheeeeeeeeeshhhhh. Not MY fault I got some of it backwards. LOL
Inbetween all that, I gotta hold the most fabulous small person.

Yeah, yeah....
Really--she's a good baby.

'Cept she doesn't like baths.....yet...
(thinkin' it was the absence of the rubber duckie-which HAS been rectified, dontchaknow!)
OR.....it could be that she's gotta bathe in the silly receiving blanket.
*rolling eyes*

Suppose to be 'less traumatic' for the wee one.

AND she's suppose to sleep on her back--NOT on her tummy.
Gee.....seems to me when the girl was a wee one she was to sleep on her tummy and not her back.....oh well--whatever brings the girl peace of mind.
(Maybe all that tummy sleeping is what made her so ornery!)

I will say that we have a very clear understanding, given the past four days.
The girl understands that she's to be 'the voice of reason'......that's her role.
The other, other boy understands that he's to clean shotguns within clear sight of any fella that decides he wants to woo the wee one.

And my job--is to keep 'right' right and 'wrong' wrong....no matter the source of adversity.
I can feel sorry for her cuz it sucks to hear "NO".....but right's right and wrong's wrong and she'll just have to get over it.

See this photo?
Yeah....well--this is the reaction to 'dad' talking with her.
Every time she cried he got to her first (no foolin'!).
And EVERY time she turned into the 'cutest little thing on the face of the planet'.

NOT that she isn't a cute thing--I'm clear she is.

But do you see that face?
*sigh*

Really--what I needed to do was take a photo of 'DAD's' face.
Oy geeze.....

'Dad' is gonna be the weakest link.

Oh yeah.....hands down.
It mighta took him all of the four days to admit it, but he finally conceeded and owned it.


THIS is where it started.

Not one tear fell, folks.
NOT one.

k....I'll give that she's still cute when she's about to launch a fit....

But I know......and the girl knows.....and the 'dad' knows....

"I'm the pushover, huh?....."

Yup.
He IS the weakest link.

Guess we know how HE'LL be referred to from this moment forward, huh? LOLOL

TFTD

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.

—Helen Keller

There is wonder in the moment, if we but look for it, let it touch us, believe in it.

Yeahyeahyeah

She had hoards of people visiting her yesterday.

I was trying to be good and give her the time and space and rest.

k....so I snuck back last night....

*laughing*



"OMG mom--come see us."



It's not really considered 'sneaking' if you're invited.......right?

Today's Fairy Reading

Every choice has certain benefits.

And every choice has its costs.

Every moment is a choice. And every choice is an opportunity.

Chose often.

Chose wisely.

Chose with integrity.

Oh yesssssss

And as of this morning:

<-- the nanna

Yes, I was asked what I preferred to be referred to as-- I, of course, said "she who must be obeyed".

That didn't fly, of course.
Then there was 'the mom of the mom' which the girl thought was a bit much for the wee one to muster up.

And today--

The other, other boy said "We'll let the nanna hold her and we'll get the paperwork stuff out of the way."

Yup.
Felt right for today.
We'll see if it sticks.

Of course yaknow tomorrow is a new day --and I could be 'the hat lady'. *laughing*

Uh huh......stolen.....

Shhhhhh.....the wee one was sleepin' when I showed up this morning. Slept darn near two hours whilest I was there--which was good, cuz apparently it was a rather sleepless night for the girl and the wee one. (reportedly, the other, other boy snored soundly..LOL....which he, of course, denied!)

HOME is the objective tomorrow--this evening is filled with the bazillion and one folks who weren't 'allowed' yesterday.

I went.
I saw to it the dumb pink hat was replaced...LOL (White one with a giraffe and a bunny with matching jumpery thingy, thanks muchly!)
I brought the lemondrops for SOMEone who had a sore throat from all the hollering they did (no names will be mentioned....*snickering*).
I brought flowers and balloons and cinnamon rolls. (plot to keep 'em busy eating so holding could happen....hahaha!!!)

I held, I rocked. (plot worked!!!!) (being considerate, dontchaknow--AND it freed them up to fill out that insurance information paperworky stuff that was piled on the table....what a good mom I am! *smirking smugly*)

I defended the wee one against the evil nurse who wanted to make her naked to take her mid morning snack. k....she was a nice nurse--she just suggested evil things cuz the wee one was too comfy to wake up to snack. (busy nights will do that--and it's not like she hadn't ate, she was just 'snugglin'...)

I ordered naps for the girl and the wee one. (cuz of the bazillion and one visitors coming tonight)
I held and rocked and patted whilest the other, other boy took a break and got the heck outta that room for a bit.

And then I got the heck outta their way.


"You know that pen I used to do the paperwork? I stole it......and YIKES has it been a zoo around here. Plan is to go home tomorrow 2ish--you'll come, right?"

Only if there's no dumb pink hat. LOL Oh--and btw....that pen you stole--stolen from the flowershop. Feel free to return it and compliment them on the lovely flowers, balloons (and pen) you received. *laughing*

"Great......... I stole a stolen pen."

You got bigger things than that, Missy--I know what came outta your mouth yesterday.

:-/ G-d's heard worse......undoubtedly from you.

Ouch.....

Yup--she's STILL her mother's child....

Yup.....she's a keeper

"I do not think all babies are cute. And yes, she has a conehead. I'm thinkin' that's about 'smallllllll hole, BIGGGGGG head'. It'll change--by the time she's 13.....we can hope....."


"HEY! Listen here, Missy....You say wanna report your pain level to Him, you follow that up with an AMEN."

"If people made me wear a pink hat I wouldn't be even mildly happy about it......"


"You will take good care of her....right? RIGHT? Cuz child birthing will be completed and I'll STILL be the mother to be reckoned with......... k.....good answer......"

BTW....he did take VERY good care of her.
He's gonna be a great dad....

And ain't she beautiful......even with a dumb pink hat....

Yup....TFTD

Give for the sake of giving.

Love for the sake of love.

Live for the sake of living.

Learn just because you can.

The world has one more human being in it today--

.....Courtesy of the girl and the other, other boy.

I'd like to think they just made the world a nicer place.


Welcome to the world, wee one.


The wee one=7lb 9oz, 20.5 inches of pure joy.
The girl=tireder than tired but good.
The other, other boy=one GRAND birthing coach and one proud dad. (let the spoiling begin!!)

And the rest of us?

Happy, happy, HAPPY!

:-)

This JUST IN:

"I'm going the wrong %$&ing way.....7-8 minutes apart and they hurt like hell."

"I'm gonna MAKE 'EM do something.....don't they haffta do something if I tell 'em to? Aren't I the patient."

YOU, dearheart.......are the 'impatient'. Never, ever be confused about that one.....

Yup. You got it.

We're goin' in.....again.....


This car is gonna get tagged by law enforcement for 'possible drug running'....LOL
You take this same route day after day after day, at the hours I'M taking it...

*laughing*

Ah well.....perhaps we can bring her into the world at a DECENT hour.....
(yeah right!!!)

Things that make me happy

<-- sipping coffee from the whitecup (yup...with goobery thingies.....)

<-- turning the car around when she says "MOM...they have to be five minutes apart for two hours--we still have 40 minutes to go. GO BACK HOME."

<-- knowing she dropped her cellphone in the bathtub and not the computer (yup...they were both in there--timing her contractions with some new fangled program, dontchaknow! LOL While she took a bath, noless!).

<-- getting the text message from the other, other boy from HIS (not drowned) cellphone "We're on our way to the hospital--we must have time cuz I'm still breathing...."

<-- watching the sunset on the way to the birthing center.

<-- telling the receptionist "I believe you're holding someone I love hostage....."

<-- suggesting to the nurse "Might wanna send two--one for him AND one for her" when they announced 'False Labor' and sent her home with a sleeping pill.

<-- stopping the car on the way home to star gaze and thank The Big Guy for taking such good care of her.

Thought for the Day

When in doubt about what to do, choose the kindest option.
When you're not sure about how much to give of yourself, err on the side of generosity.


When you feel the urge to do something nice for someone else, don't make excuses for why you can't.
Just go ahead and make it happen.

Any bets?

The text finally came:

Welp, I'm 3cm with a head between my legs. LOL He swept my membranes--said I should go today or tomorrow. If not, when I go in on Wednesday they'll set a time to induce. Probably Friday.

Followed by:

I keep having spaced out contractions, a good 15-20 minutes apart though--all morning. Of course it got stronger after the appointment.
Those suckers HURT.

I think I'm gonna have a baby.

I volunteered to show up to make fun of her.
She seemed to think that was a bad plan:

You might wanna stay home and get some rest--I REALLY might need you at some bizarre hour.....

Yeah, yeah....

Baby will come when Baby comes.
Wouldn't surprise me if it's at 3am. She's kinda like that.....LOL

QOTW 4/4/09

Where do you keep your photographs?


We have a handy dandy digital photo frame that shows the photos from the past two years.

And then there's the photos on the wall, framed.
And the photos on the book shelves....and the wee shelves in the bedroom....and the cabinet.....

And THEN--there's the boxes in the closet.

It used to be falling over stacks of photo albums but I fixed that! They're now neatly organized and in photo boxes.

Oh--and a couple scrapbook thingies that SOMEone made for me.

*laughing*

G'head and ask me how often I look in the boxes on the shelf in the closet.....

Squirmy Fairy Thought

Take note, today, of all the opportunities you have to offer a helping hand, a helpful suggestion or a kind word to another person.

Do nothing. Say nothing. Offer nothing.
Just note the opportunites for a whole 24 hours.

How comfortable does even the idea of that exercise to do nothing, say nothing and offer nothing 'feel' to you?

Sleeping with Bread

How many times this week have I heard "In G-d's time....."

When you're checking cellphones every half hour to make sure you haven't missed the stupid "We're on the WAY to have a baby--getcher arse overhereNOW" message (I'm sure it'll be much more gentle message than that...LOL....maybe....) and no message of that type arrives--you get to hear that.....a LOT.

And every day she stays in there is another day she develops into a stronger, healthier wee one.

In G-d's time......

And then there was this message that reached me via a kindred soul:

The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together.

Things happen as they are meant to happen......as they are purposed to happen and in His time. Even when I can't see the Big Guy's hand in what's going on--those things will serve some good....the pieces will fit together and at some point the dots in life's 'dot to dot' will get connected and I'll have one of those "I GET it!!!" moments.
Odds are I'll get that 'full heart' feeling when it happens and I'll 'know'.

I can, and oft times DO, sit in judgement of something being 'bad'. It FEELS bad. I don't like how people are affected. I don't like watching people in pain.

And as an alien who's trying to wrap her head around 'humanness', I DO very human things that create pain, that affect others in ways that I don't necessarily want to affect them. (most times--sometimes I do deliberate, dumb things that I regret later--things that just are NOT loving things to do...) (another lesson for Mel in humility as I go back to clean up the mess that I created....*sigh*)

Are those things 'bad'?
Well, they don't feel very loving--cuz they ain't......
Does good come from them?
I'd like to think so-- No. I know good comes from it--if even from just the very act of making me go back with hat in hand.....humility is a good thing, and it forces me to say what's true and to do 'the works' to set things as 'right' as I can.

Some of my strongest relationships have been bourne from me and my big mouth....and having to go back time and time again to right my wrongs, with great humility, even when I didn't want to or see the need to.

In G-d's time.

It's all good. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Even if I don't like it. Even if it involves work and pain and muck and mire.....it's all good.
Dot's will get connected.

Good will come from it.
Good does come from it.

The 'goods' in the week that I was about to put under the 'bad' category?

** The mountain of paperwork that was heaped onto me for the end of the month. It's kept me busy and focused and not so worried about the girl, the wee one and 'stuff' that I don't have control over. (dot connected!)

** The staff member whom I disciplined and was madder than a hornet with me for weeks.... GETS it! She came to me and thanked me for forcing her to get her work done in a timely manner versus putting it off and having to have people track her down. Her weekends are her OWN to play with her son now. (dot connected)

** The new pigeon I picked up a couple months ago, going back out and drinking again--and the family suffering as a result. I pray this is his 'bottom'... (dot in the process of being connected--there's lots of good, even if it's a painful process--I guess there's a reason he asked me to work with him, huh?)

** The budgety stuff that came back for revisions......again. More practice with Excel? ;-) Actually, there WAS a reason I kept those original proposed numbers that the boss changed! (THERE'S a dot's that connected!)

** The troubles with the worksite program that's suppose to make my life easier. Yeah, well, it bought me time to get some other things done and extended the due date for the stuff I couldn't get entered. *whew* THANK you Big Guy!


Geeze.... Back to "There's more than one way to look at things".

Things happening in G-d's time is a good deal.

....Practice on patience and perspective....and trusting--good things, too!