Life is good!

"Ya know, Mel--a cat who sits on a hot stove and burns its ass doesn't spend the rest of its life resenting the stove. It lets go of the resentment but not the experience."

Ya know, in part, why life is good?
Cuz I've let go of the resentments but not the experiences.

I was looking for a resentment today--and I came up empty handed.
Wisepersoninmylife told me long ago that I had some growing to do cuz I seemed to enjoy my love affair with my resentments.
He's such a kindly fella--he told me I could keep them as long as I wanted to.
Frankly, there were those I was willing to forgive and those who could BITE ME.
When you're truly a victim of other people's 'stuff'--you can feel pretty darn 'entitled'.
My feelings of 'entitlement' left me stuck for a long, long time.

But there's something to be said for stopping in your tracks and realizing that you're genuinely glad for another human being that you used to resent.
It's a weird thing.
If you're me--you just kinda stand there and tilt your head, wondering where that hostility/anger went to, where that 'bad thinking' went.
Trust me when I say "It's weird". It's--kinda like that feeling you have when you're searching with your tongue, looking for that lost tooth the dentist yanked out.

Definitely a strange thing.
It's nothing I've not felt before. I've had a lot of resentments to wade through and surrender.

I've also been doing 'right actions' for a very long time.
How many times did wisepersoninmylife lecture me: "It's not required that you have to WANT to be kind to ACT in a kindly manner. It's not required that you have to WANT to be loving to ACT loving. And it's not required that you have to WANT to be gracious to ACT gracious. Since when does 'what you WANT to do' have anything to do with 'what you NEED to do'?!"
You can guess that I've had loads of practice in 'acting as if'.

There's been this whittling away of pride and ego going on for some time. And for me, that's what my 'wonderful' resentment had been based on.
I've found myself having that rotten, egocentric, selfish/selfcentered, it's all about MEMEME, look at what you did to poor little ol' MEMEME thinking less and less.
I've stopped hanging on to the hot stove that burnt my ass.
Today there was no 'acting as if'.
And one more time--I've discovered the freedom that comes with letting go of the resentment but not the experience.

Gotta tell ya....... It's a weird but awesomely wonderful thing to simply want good things for that person you resented for a hellaciously long time. I mean to REALLY want it for them.
It's even more awesome to go looking for and not find that darn resentment--nor the emotions that were attached to it.
And to find compassion and good will?
Blows me away!

Life IS good.
It's damn good when you just 'LET GO' and leave the results up to someone bigger than you.