Friday, April 30, 2010

The howscome of it.....

I'm somewhere between here and where I wanna be.
Truth be told, probably where I 'need' to be and not simply where I 'wanna' be.

I can be so fickle some times.

WPIML assured me that the way to wherever I'm going is through....which, ironically, is exactly where I am. In the 'through' part of the deal.

Go figure the through part is a bit tenuous at times.
Through involves acceptance.
Through involves surrender.
It probably involves a bit of my cooperation......go figure...

Sometimes I'm cooperative.
Sometimes--ummmmm....notsomuch......

Here's not a 'bad' place.....it's just 'here'. Leastwise, that's what he tells me.

There's no value, no judgement......it simply 'is what it is'.

If it involves a good cuppa coffee--I'm good with that.
No coffee=BAD
I don't care what he says.......
I can decide that has value if I wanna! Pfffffft!!!!!

*sigh*
Sometimes I'm such a dweeb.
It's not like I don't KNOW what he's telling me.
It's not like I don't KNOW I don't get to change others/the world around me/the circumstances at hand.
It's not like I don't KNOW.
I do.

Liking 'stuff' isn't required.
Doing in spite of.....is.

And I can do.
I can even 'act as if'......and sometimes buy into the feel of the moment and actually go with it.
But through is a bit tenuous some moments.
And it would seem that I let myself get snagged by how it all 'feels' and I buy into THAT being the whole shebang--when I know it's not.

Ewww.
Feelings jazz.....
Through ALWAYS seems to involve that feelings jazz......

Ick.
I'd rather colour on the sidewalk, thankyouverymuch......

Ah!
THAT'S why there's rain in the forecast for the whole weekend!!!!

*laughing*
SEE!!!! It IS all about MEMEMEMEMEMEME!!!!!!!

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!


3 comments:

I, Like The View said...

get up off the floor and let me offer to refill your cup

(-:

XXXXXXX

mig said...

Liking stuff isn't required. Yes, just 'doing' is.
*Sigh*
Sometimes it might be nice to get a glimpse of what's at the other end of 'through' but I guess that's what faith and trust are all about.

Ron said...

Oh boy, what you share here is so brilliantly truthful, Mel.

And I can so relate to how you feel about that "through" part because I KNOW that feeling.

Acceptance.

Surrender.

That "in between" space of NOT KNOWING and getting caught in THAT feeling.

Yup, I hear ya.

And even though we know that our cooperation is needed, it ain't easy.

That's were TRUST comes in. And that ain't easy either. It's like jumping over an abyss.

And flying.

(((( Mel ))))
X