There are two things a household, with ME in it, ought never EVER run out of.
One--coffee.
Two--toilet paper.
Now, let's make sure we're both on the same page on that definition of 'ought never run out of'.
THIS means at least one full container (LARGE of course) of coffee in reserve AT ALL TIMES. It also means 12 (yes TWELVE) over-sized rolls of toilet paper in reserve AT ALL TIMES. This does not mean you actually let the reserve get below that number because you THINK you'll grab more the next time you're out and about..... Snow storms happen. Earthquakes, massive destruction, etc., etc, ..... You do NOT dink around or dip into the reserve without immediately arranging to restore the reserve to its acceptable number .
Do you know the good thing about crutches?
They limit the amount of places you go. They keep you out of the pantry. The pantry is at the OTHER end of the kitchen. That's more "feet" than I have to go.
I may need to extend my 'crutch footage' to include visits to the pantry moving forward.
And--let me ask--do YOU think the ideal time to announce "Oh dear, we're out of your coffee" is right at bedtime?!
Nono, I'm assured, there was enough to make a pot for the morning. And yesyes, I was assured--snowshoes would be put on and walking to the store would happen in the event of a snow storm occurring. (please be advised it is currently snowing BIG HUGE FAT FLAKES)
Lemme say this clearly because I heard the trash can gulp up the empty can. (yes, I know the sound of a plastic coffee container hitting the trashcan!!)
NO COFFEE IN THE CUPBOARD.
NO COFFEE IN THE PANTRY.
So.....when we look at it in terms of a simple math equation (yes, I know I say I don't DO math, but bear with me here....):
Zero + Zero (YUP, you GOT IT!) = Z E R O
Oh--And please confess this fact before the grocery store closes?! That way, you can rectify the wrong and we can all move on to the next thing.
At bedtime?
AT BEDTIME?!?!
REALLY?!?!?!
I will not obsess about NO COFFEE. I will, instead, turn off the light and count sheep...which is probably wiser than counting toilet paper rolls--which I will NOT investigate until tomorrow.
I'm not sure I'd recover if that number was discovered to be LESS THAN TWELVE this evening.
ONE trauma at bedtime is sufficient, tyvm.
Oh--and I do believe you KNOW the rules.
Why is that?
I noted the HUGE cans (plural!!) of coffee in the kitchen cupboard.
And--I own it......I counted toilet paper rolls when I was there with you. :-/
5 comments:
Lol I love this story! I still remember a few weeks ago I woke up on one of my few Saturdays off feeling refreshed and ready for my nice cup of coffee. After searching high and low I came to the conclusion we were in fact out of coffee. After consulting the boyfriend I asked how this was even possible...his response? Forgot...in my head that was NOT the right answer. Needless to say he was sent out immediately to right the wrong so I could have my relaxing Sat the way I had planned it :) I hope after inspection the toilet paper stash is in tact!
Mel, you CRACK ME UP!!!
"I will not obsess about NO COFFEE. I will, instead, turn off the light and count sheep...which is probably wiser than counting toilet paper rolls--"
Bwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
BRILLIANT, dear lady, BRILLIANT!!
And it's just too-too ironic you posted this today, because what TWO items do you think I needed to get MORE of at the grocery store this afternoon?
That's right.....coffee and T.P.!
The necessities of life!!!!
X ya, dear lady!!!!
((((((( You )))))))
oh dear.. do I need to express mail you some Java?
Oh dear
oh dear.....
Now I need to go and check the coffee in the larder. I'm pretty sure there are three packs. Um, don't go away.....
phew. Yes there are.
Hahahahaha....12 toilet rolls...really!? Sheesh your as bad as my lovely husband...for some reason (known only to husband) he is obsessed with buying toilet rolls...he's also obsessed with buying olive oil...don't think the two are related!!
C x
Post a Comment