Fact versus Fiction and YOUR JOB

Yes, I have a magnifying, magical mind.  THERE'S a news flash.
I can convince me of the darnedest things.
And I can react.

Are you lookin' at ME?!
Classic movie line--but I used to be a frequent flier with of that thought....I knew what you were thinking about me and I was coming out with my barrels loaded.

Isn't it amazing that I really DID think it was all about me?  Like others didn't have more important things to fill their mind with...  I failed to check things out.  I automatically assumed it was about me. And really--barrels loaded isn't a joke.  True story.

There's a difference between how I reacted and how others react...and what's driving that reaction.

And granted some folks lie......I lie with the best of the rest of 'em.
But really--if I glance in your direction, odds are it's probably NOT about you.  I'm an ego-centric person.   And while I might have some 'issues' in the esteem department that took a lot of work--I'm NOT where I was and 'fragile' is a word that just isn't used to describe me, go figure.....( though I do jest about me and my 'little fragile alcoholic feelings'....).
Really.  It's not that those wee feelings can't be hurt--it's simply that hurt feelings aren't going to determine my worth and value.  They're just hurt feelings.
Nobody's gonna determine my worth and value.
My worth and value just IS.
Ain't that cool?!  :-)

And odds are, when I ask the questions, I'm going to find out my 'fact' was really 'fiction'. I oughta know--I've done the experiment and taken a tally......(*sigh*  True story THERE, too!)

I share a house with a neurotic Brit.
And I think 'neurotic' is an understatement in his case.
If I look up from where I'm parked on the couch--it's gotta be about him needing to DO something.

"What?!"  "Did I do something?  Do you need something?  Something wrong?"
"Nope!  Just looked up while the brain was working!"

More times than not, it's the simple "What?!"...accompanied by the movement of whatever he was doing from his reach.

Don't get me wrong--I'm glad he asks.  But the automatic response is that very human "must be about ME" response.
Funny that his is about HIS need to change/do something....and mine was about blowing the other person into smithereens cuz they were worthless piles of dog doo.
Welcome to the wonderful world of ego-manics with touches of an inferiority complex.  You just blow up those around you that YOU think have that 'better than you' going on.  Problem solved!

Oh.....not he-who's-beyond-neurotic.
He's going to do the changing so you'll be pleased and love him.
Ummmmm.....HELLO?!

NOT MY JOB.

Yes...I'm clear it's a 'hands off' deal--the Big Guy's made that abundantly clear to me.  And frankly, I adore that.  It's made loving he-who's-beyond-neurotic .......simple.  Easy.  Effortless work!!!

WHY he sweats it--is because he-who's-neurotic has forgotten the deal.
I reminded him of 'the deal' this week.....
No--he'd not forgotten...sort of..maybe...a tad...  (G-d love his neurotic little self!)
Easy enough to do with all the noise and hype and circumstances going on around him/me/us.
Gee....go figure.
I'm reminding HIM of the deal and getting whacked along side of the head at the same time.

SHUSH Mel.


Which is why today I'm setting "the rules" in this relationship to black and white.
For ME.  And I'm gifting it in a prominent place.  If he reaps rewards from it......great!

What a cute project, eh?

Your JOB is to love how you've always wanted TO love.

Write your own expectations. 
Critique your own performance.
Give yourself your own 'corrective work plan', if you must.

But love how you've always wanted TO love.


*laughing*  I'm pretty sure if I put that into book form...it'd never sell.
But boy--in our relationship--amazing things happen when we simply do what we wanna do in the loving department-- and STAY OUT OF THE OTHER PERSON'S WAY.