I've been VERY cared for during the 16 months of brokenness. I still consider THIS to be "brokenness" because this pain is daily, still interfering with my day to day funtioning--and it's not what I would consider "normal". The skirt brushing against my leg really shouldn't feel like shards of glass being drug against my skin. It just should't FEEL that way. I've tried to convince it that it's wrong. But I'm still dealing in shards of glass, stabbing pains, bouts of battery acid and some bad sunburns.
Today my PT gal went over what we've tried and wanted to make sure she was as specific as she could be with the gal my ortho trauma doc is sending me off to see. I'm suppose to make a time line of this adventure. The point is to look for patterns and to help the gal have a clear understanding.
THIS isn't a 16 month old problem. For 10 months I was dealing in casts, a brace...and walking around on a nonunion femur break. There's an example of how freaking tolerant I am of pain. I had the surgery at the close of August. The pain I had then was easily attributed to having that 14" worth of incision, complete with the hardware and shaved off bone superglue doc made. LOL! But come October / start of November, it leap to my lower leg and I thought I was going mental. Truth is, I STILL think I'm all mental somedays...but I just can't seem to "suck it up and keep moving" no matter how hard I want to.
I know I was threateing to ruin doc's Thanksgiving if he didn't FIX IT. And I know again at the end of January/February I was having a meltdown on the poor PT gal.
I also know this fine adventure has changed a whole lot in my LIFE. And not all for (what FEELS like) the 'good'. I gotta believe that it'll end up there....but living in this constant overload of pain in varying degrees is not "normal life" for me.
And I'm not willing to accept that this is just how it gets to be.
So....I have naked men to colour/draw symbols into. I have a timeline to make. I'm thinkin' that's today's project. And I have a PT gal who wants me to connect with her no matter the results or recommendations. She's a keeper.
AND she says no matter what, I'm welcome to keep using the gym for as long as I like. How can ya not love her for that.
8 comments:
Mel, I have a high tolorence for pain too, but this pain has gone waaaay too long for you, so I hope they can find a solution soon. I know from going though some major teeth issues a few years ago, when you're in pain, it effects your whole mental and emotional states as well.
I wish you knew someone out in your area, who offered alternative therapies such as Reiki, because I know it would help. And not only with the physical aspect, but the mental and emotional as well. And usually Reiki practitioners are reasonably priced, so I don't think it would be very expensive.
In the meantime, here's some Reiki from me....
(((((((((((((((( You ))))))))))))))))))
X
It would be fractionally better if the pain could be identified. If only a solution was as easy to find. Maybe Ron is right, could you search for a Reiki expert in your area?
Hello my dear.... I hear you. I had pelvic surgery in 2000!!!!!!!!! and I've never been the same. My cervical fusion in 03 didn't help matters. ALL the autoimmune issues began in 2000. Point being surgery is a killer of just as much as it "might" fix. After 5 yrs on a fentanyl patch that only made me crazier while not helping my pain, I quit everything I was doing. I guess I'm still in that mode since I'm not seeing anyone medically oriented nor am I much caring to. But chronic pain is proven to create literal holes in the brain. I guess what I'm trying to peck out here, standing in the loo w my iPad, is it's hell to be where you are and probably more so cause you're waiting to get fixed but it ain't happening much to your pleasure or relief. I hear you and offer nothing but support for the hell you're slogging thru.
This is enough for a blog comment but know I'm always here, literally usually in bed. So I'm available and can type an email on the old lappie should you want to hear more of my blathering on. Much love, sunshine, birdies and bliss this Sunday to you. I do hope you're not looking at more of that blasted white stuff! That CANNOT be helping! Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello my dear.... I hear you. I had pelvic surgery in 2000!!!!!!!!! and I've never been the same. My cervical fusion in 03 didn't help matters. ALL the autoimmune issues began in 2000. Point being surgery is a killer of just as much as it "might" fix. After 5 yrs on a fentanyl patch that only made me crazier while not helping my pain, I quit everything I was doing. I guess I'm still in that mode since I'm not seeing anyone medically oriented nor am I much caring to. But chronic pain is proven to create literal holes in the brain. I guess what I'm trying to peck out here, standing in the loo w my iPad, is it's hell to be where you are and probably more so cause you're waiting to get fixed but it ain't happening much to your pleasure or relief. I hear you and offer nothing but support for the hell you're slogging thru.
This is enough for a blog comment but know I'm always here, literally usually in bed. So I'm available and can type an email on the old lappie should you want to hear more of my blathering on. Much love, sunshine, birdies and bliss this Sunday to you. I do hope you're not looking at more of that blasted white stuff! That CANNOT be helping! Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello my dear.... I hear you. I had pelvic surgery in 2000!!!!!!!!! and I've never been the same. My cervical fusion in 03 didn't help matters. ALL the autoimmune issues began in 2000. Point being surgery is a killer of just as much as it "might" fix. After 5 yrs on a fentanyl patch that only made me crazier while not helping my pain, I quit everything I was doing. I guess I'm still in that mode since I'm not seeing anyone medically oriented nor am I much caring to. But chronic pain is proven to create literal holes in the brain. I guess what I'm trying to peck out here, standing in the loo w my iPad, is it's hell to be where you are and probably more so cause you're waiting to get fixed but it ain't happening much to your pleasure or relief. I hear you and offer nothing but support for the hell you're slogging thru.
This is enough for a blog comment but know I'm always here, literally usually in bed. So I'm available and can type an email on the old lappie should you want to hear more of my blathering on. Much love, sunshine, birdies and bliss this Sunday to you. I do hope you're not looking at more of that blasted white stuff! That CANNOT be helping! Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
It took a minute to sink in what you meant- I was picturing a Naked Man Coloring Book.
And I guess you could use it like that, if you wanted to. ;)
Oh my gosh....I so snickered and snorted at 'abbiestreehouse' comment. ;)
Mel...you are blessed to have that PT gal in your corner. She's priceless!
I hate this pain you have. Hate it!! Where oh where is my magic wand???
However....keeping you in my prayers...believing with you for healing and relief.
{{{{hugs}}}
Geez I sure didn't mean to spam you! Sigh.. Blogger says it didn't post so I keep trying. I think I better just give up with it. I keep doing it to fancy too. ;-/
xox
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