Sleeping with Bread

What is giving me consolation in my life this week?
I made a trip to the basement storage room--which, btw, is a disaster. *sigh* How come you can clean and sort storage rooms and they simply breed more ‘stuff’ to clean and sort? Anyway…….I was in search of a book or two that somehow managed to find their way to a box. I hadn’t read ‘em. But I do have the ‘issue’ of stacking unread books with every intention of reading….yeah, yeah--me and my ‘best intentions’….
Instead of locating the book I was actually searching for, I discovered--or rediscovered--"A Conversation With God". Or at least I rediscovered parts One and Two. Where part Three went, I can’t seem to recall.
I quit looking for “Bipolar Disorders: 100 Years after Manic-Depressive Insanity”. Not because I was convinced I wouldn’t find it. It’s down there somewhere.
I quit cuz I was avoiding dealing with wisepersoninmylife’s question about how the relationship with G-d was doing. He's nosy like that. LOL Besides… re-reading is a good thing. You discover parts you missed the first time around. And since it’s been years since I read the series it’s been like a whole new adventure.
Consolation has come in the reminders of what I know to be true and what I’ve been graced to experience.So………the highlighter’s out, the book’s getting marked in and I’m happily absorbing and finding affirmations of what I know is joyously true......

And what, this week, is causing me desolation?
The phone call from the boy that came at a really horrific time during my workday…which meant I couldn’t talk with him. I’m missing out because I put the ball in his court to decide what he wanted my participation in his life and his babies' lives to look like….
No. That’s not true. That just makes me sound the victim.*sigh*

I’m missing out because I choose to miss out.
I can choose different any day of the week.
So far, I’ve not been willing to choose different.
It feels like a power struggle........ because it is.