Have you ever envied someone else's good fortune? Consider the friend who calls with a different ring to her voice. Instead of sharing her troubles and woes, she proceeds to tell you good news. Something exciting, financially beneficial, glamorous, wonderful beyond belief has happened in her life. It's not a fantasy. It's one of those rare moments when a dream has come true.
That's wonderful, you may say, meaning every word. At first. Why her? You may later think. What about me? When am I going to get a break? As hard as we may try not to feel that way, a little jealousy, envy, and self-pity replace the joy we felt for our friend.
Most of us want other people to be successful and happy. We really do. That's not the problem. The problem comes when we think they're going to be happier or better than we are.
Sometimes we know when we're envying and resenting others. Other times it's a subtle undercurrent that we're not aware of, but it invades our lives. It may only be a slight feeling of smugness when we hear that something unfortunate has happened to someone we perceive as being more fortunate than we are.
Goodwill isn't just the name of a secondhand store or a phrase used in songs during the holiday season. It's a particularly challenging value to practice.
That's wonderful, you may say, meaning every word. At first. Why her? You may later think. What about me? When am I going to get a break? As hard as we may try not to feel that way, a little jealousy, envy, and self-pity replace the joy we felt for our friend.
Most of us want other people to be successful and happy. We really do. That's not the problem. The problem comes when we think they're going to be happier or better than we are.
Sometimes we know when we're envying and resenting others. Other times it's a subtle undercurrent that we're not aware of, but it invades our lives. It may only be a slight feeling of smugness when we hear that something unfortunate has happened to someone we perceive as being more fortunate than we are.
Goodwill isn't just the name of a secondhand store or a phrase used in songs during the holiday season. It's a particularly challenging value to practice.
6 comments:
I like this, and I will consider these thoughts today. Thank you for the inspiration.
Peace
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I really hope this doesn't apply to me, I dn't think it does - but therein would lie the situation, wouldn't it
thank you for the prompt
Goodwill to all eh? Now that can be challenging :)
I don't know, I think I'm probably guilty a bit but it doesn't feel like a huge problem. Just a thing to keep an eye out for. A tickle of smugness or a touch of bitterness is human. You don't want it to get out of proportion that's all. Sometimes you have to forgive people for their good fortune - and their bad fortune. Then forgive yourself for resenting or triumphing a little bit. Then carry on with being friends : )
Ciao Mel all the best for 2011. I missed my blogging buddies while I was absent from the blogsphere. So I have enjoyed catching up with your posts this afternoon, you have certainly been busy. posting lots of delightful treats, it was impossible to decide which was my favourite.
PIMFA. Why does your fairy talk to me also? Though, I don't think I've ever had the smugness.
This fairy thought for the day is so RIGHT ON!
"The problem comes when we think they're going to be happier or better than we are."
Exactly! We sometimes don't realize that there is more than enough to go around.
Thanks for sharing this, dear lady! It always helps to be reminded!
X
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