Thursday, January 27, 2011

Today's Thought


Caretaking: the act of taking responsibility for other people while neglecting responsibility for ourselves. When we instinctively feel responsible for the feelings, thoughts, choices, problems, comfort, and destiny of others, we are caretakers. We may believe, at an unconscious level, that others are responsible for our happiness, just as we're responsible for theirs.

It's a worthy goal to be a considerate, loving, nurturing person. But caretaking is neglecting us to the point of feeling victimized. Caretaking involves caring for others in ways that hamper them in learning to take responsibility for themselves.

Caretaking doesn't work. It hurts other people; it hurts us. People get angry. They feel hurt, used, and victimized. So do we.

The kindest and most generous behavior we can choose is taking responsibility for ourselves - for what we think, feel, want, and need. The most beneficial act we can perform is to be true to ourselves, and let others take responsibility for themselves.

Today, I will pay attention to my actual responsibilities to myself. I will let others do the same.

4 comments:

Spadoman said...

Thanks Mel. Is that a Fairy thought? Or is it a Mel original? I just read this out loud to my friend who traveled with me here to T or C. (he's been in recovery for 35 years). He liked the reading. I told him I get one evry day from this friend in Iowa.
That's right. We made it. Story soon at my place. internet is intermintent for now.

Peace.

Unknown said...

So true...one to really read and take to heart...

english inukshuk said...

good, helpful thoughts

TYVM

Mel said...

He made it!! He made it!!! :-)

Enjoy that T or C scenery, sir!