Standing Up for Ourselves
We learn some behaviours have self-defeating consequences, while others have beneficial consequences. We learn we have choices.
—Beyond Codependency
It is so easy to come to the defense of others. How clear it is when others are being used, controlled, manipulated, or abused. It is so easy to fight their battles, become righteously indignant, rally to their aid, and spur them on to victory.
"You have rights," we tell them. "And those rights are being violated. Stand up for yourself, without guilt."
Why is it so hard, then, for us to rally to our own behalf? Why can't we see when we are being used, victimized, lied to, manipulated, or otherwise violated? Why is it so difficult for us to stand up for ourselves?
There are times in life when we can walk a gentle, loving path. There are times, however, when we need to stand up for ourselves - when walking the gentle, loving path puts us deeper into the hands of those who could mistreat us.
Some days, the lesson we're to be learning and practicing is one of setting boundaries. Some days, the lesson we're learning is that of fighting for our own rights and ourselves.
Sometimes, the lesson won't stop until we do.
Today, I will rally to my own cause. I will remember that it is okay to stand up for myself when that action is appropriate.
2 comments:
It takes a lot of nerve to do the actual standing up! Telling others to do it is easy. Even doing it for them is easier than standing up as yourself for yourself.
I honestly don't have any reservation about standing up for myself.
My challenge has always been standing up for others (being a savior) and then having them back down for themselves.
Through this, I have learned that people have to eventually learn to stand up for themselves. I will support them and stand next to them, but they have to do the talking. Not me.
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