Yep--mad..........

Okay. I'm angry.
I thought I'd feel better putting it into words elsewhere--I'm not sure that worked like I wanted it to. I think I'm angrier.

I have an English husband. Three years ago he left his country to make his home in Iowa. Call it love....and we are soooo in love.
He just returned from his visit to England and was so relieved to come home. In part because the separation was horrible for both of us. We'd vowed to never do that--given we'd spent five years doing a long distance relationship and went through the whole immigration process.

He missed me. And I missed him.
And he was treated meanly. And I do mean 'meanly'.
Crass remarks about America/Iowa/marrying an American seemed to flow in his direction. I wanted to argue it's, in part, unresolved resentments for a dad/son/friend who's no longer accessible now that he lives 4321 miles away.
He's pretty convinced it's little to do with that and it's the distain for America and his 'becoming a traitor' to his country.
I'm angry.
His choice wasn't about the country.
It was about me and wanting to share our lives.
Undoubtedly I'm feeling some responsibility for being the source of the decision getting made in the first place.

I'm now convinced it wasn't about him being neurotic/sensitive (sometimes overly). I know I'll buy time before doing something with it---only because I'm angry he was treated as he was.
I'm not sure what I'll do with it all.
I do know that some I'll chalk up to missing dad/son/friend. Some I'll get to let go of.
I do know that he's adamate--he won't return to England without me. Some because it's just too damn hard for him.
Some because he's convinced the reception he got would have been kinder had I been present.

What's right about all this?!
Not a damn thing.