Sleeping with Bread

This week, sitting home in the company of me, has given me time.
Time to be slowed down.
Time to simply BE where my feet are with the circumstances I'm currently in.
Time to rest (though I admit this has been a struggle).
Time that provided the excuse for creating.....
Time that provide the excuse to avoid...

One of my established routines in the morning is visiting other's on their web logs.  It's a very treasured routine.  It's continued to bring me to a place of connectedness with kindred spirits.  It brings me to places of sharing, of putting things on the table, of others asking questions or placing their hearts into black and white for the world to see and feel and embrace....

It's a privilege to visit and get stretched and disturbed--to be comforted and graced with beauty and peace and great joys....
And because I see the words on the screen as so much MORE than simply words on the screen--t's not uncommon for me to leave a visit with a head full of 'stuff'--
This week's gift of 'time' afforded me with introspect after visiting the places I visit.
And that's been a very good thing.

This past week there came a set of very specific questions that got my attention--that happens a lot as I visit the places I visit.
And I've given thought to every one of them, written them in the journal and answered them in great length because I felt compelled to be HONEST with me.

Am I more in my heart than in my head?  And taking action?
Do I catch myself when I’m being negative?
Can I simply laugh and change course?
Do I catch myself sooner?
Have I created more inner peace?
When I am judgemental, do I stop and change my intent?
Which virtues do I use more predominantly than before?  (Link to a list of virtues here – from The Virtues Project.)
Am I true to myself and speak my boundaries in a loving manner?
When I feel unworthy, resentful, discontent, insufficient, unloveable and abandoned, do I remember to trust the Divine more quickly.  Do I remember that I am a unique, brilliant and Divine soul who asked to be here to Love our world through this transition to peacefulness and oneness?
What old structures do I see dissolving in my life and in the world?
Do I love myself so I can love others?
Are my responses to others what I would want to receive from them?



It was pages written--but at the end of it I was overwhelmed with the writings I had done, and the ME that I saw in the answers.
I know I've not done my growing in a vacuum--it's been with the help of others and with the accountability.  I  KNOW I need that accountability.  I can 'yes yes' and have the best of intentions....and lack the follow through.  When there's another person involved and I know that accountability is there--amazing things happen for me.
And the greatest gift in this gift of growth?

I'm more effective in the lives of others.  And I'm at peace with me.
With ME.

I don't do it perfectly.  With those questions came some awesome discoveries--of growth and areas for continued growth.
Oh, but I do manage to be much more loving than I ever thought I'd EVER EVER be.
And that I LET myself BE loving by doing those actions--

Amazing.....

So--there's my 'bread'--what it is that I've held on to in a week filled with 'time' that I didn't necessarily 'ask' for.  Guided, structured thinking that gave me questions to ask myself.
And the ability to be able to say:

Oh the places Mel has been.  And oh, the growing she has done........

I celebrate that I'm not done growing yet.


And with that, I'm joining Diane who asked for a bit of company on recognizing the joys in the day.
Now, I've not quite wrapped my head around how I want that to look.  *laughing*  It was one of those things that I didn't think about HOW--I just thought it would be a good plan for a whiner like me.
I LIKE whining....LOL  I also like to have an attitude of gratitude (yes, I know the two don't mesh.LOL)
Yaknow.....I kept recipe cards for years on the joys and miracles that got dropped into my lap.
I let that practice go, though I still have those cards in the box.....I even bring them out on occasions that I'm particularly frustrated or sad over circumstances and I remind myself of how graced I am.

*hanging head*

Oh yes....lemme remind myself of how graced I am....
See above!

And see below for my three joys of today.

* knowing I've grown hugely and with the help of others
* being available for a phone call from a friend in need
* having a hamburger ON A GLUTEN FREE BUN......wow, it's been years!