A tad.
Coffee only came out if I bounced the coffee maker on the counter-top.
Yeah.....it was 5:32.
I'd waited and tried to analyze the problem, but without caffeine.....I was more into solutions.
He decided maybe I'd snuck out to watch sunrise and it was a 'left open door' banging in the wind.
Ummmm......notsomuch.
Just me beating the hell out of the coffee maker, glaring at he-who-wanted-to-know-what-all-the-racket-was-about.
'I'm not allowed to talk?'
No. Just get the **** outta my way--I've beat it into submission enough to get a cup and I intend to drink it.
And then.....
He cut the cord.
HE CUT THE CORD.
Safety, he says.
Safety?!
SAFETY?!?!
He whipped out the scissors and with NO thought, not even a word--he cut the cord.
He. Cut. The. Cord.
'Well, that's that then'.
OMG.....
The darn thing was as close to dead as it could be--he didn't have to humiliate it by circumcising it!
It was all I could do, but I waited until 9a.m.
And then I went downtown on a mission for a coffee maker--in this bitty town, notsomuch to choose from.
I could buy an espresso coffee maker for $210.
I don't WANT espresso--I wanna freaking coffee maker that works?!
I could buy a 4 cup maker.....
I don't WANT espresso--I wanna freaking coffee maker that works?!
I could buy a 4 cup maker.....
Four cups.
FOUR CUPS?!
They can't be serious.....four cups?!
k.....problem....
Nuffin'.
NOT ONE coffee maker in this bitty town.
Nada.
Nil.
Zilch.....
And I can't even wing it with the old one and beat on it to get a cup in the morning--HE CUT THE FREAKING CORD!!!!!!
I was pretty sure we had electrical tape.
I was pretty sure we had electrical tape.
I was pretty sure I could piece it together if need be.
O
M
G
M
G
k.... I mighta panicked.
I think the text mighta read 'OMG NONE!!!' followed quickly by a 'GET THE JEEP!!'.
Bit obsessed, he says.
Bit preoccupied with a coffee maker, he says.
You have all day, he says......
Plenty of time, he says.
Bit preoccupied with a coffee maker, he says.
You have all day, he says......
Plenty of time, he says.
Just get in the freaking Jeep.
Uh huh......and who was the one in the Jeep pointing at the out-of-state drivers who were 'making a mad dash to WalMart'. Didn't I 'see the huge ad for the limited sale on coffee makers'?
NO-- the fella with the Illinois plates didn't turn into WalMart.
Yes-- I have a new coffee maker.
And YES-- he-who-found-it-amusing-that-I-suggested-going-faster is still breathing.
........barely.....
7 comments:
"--HE CUT THE FREAKING CORD!!!!!!"
HAHAHHAAHAHAAHA! OMG, I would have FREAKED!
As you already know, I use a French press to make my cup of coffee in the morning. Actually, it makes TWO cups of coffee. And I love it because I never have to worry about the thing breaking because it's NON-electric!
Anyway, glad you got another coffee maker, Mel!
Whew!
X
messing around with the coffee pot is sort of like trespassing into sacred territory....takes guts. Cutting the cord on my coffee pot would definitely catapult the task to replace it to the number one position in my day too. I'm totally on board with you. An honest to goodness mission. :) diane
OMGAWD!!! you are so funny!! and is this a husband who cuts cords with a handy dandy scissor?? hmmmm, husbands can be....well won't go there as you now will be sated satisfactorily, we can hope...i laughed so hard reading this and i really needed a laugh!
OMG.....
The darn thing was as close to dead as it could be--he didn't have to humiliate it by circumcising it!
oh thank you thank you for this post...i was just what i needed...a smile...i can feel the endorphins as i sit here at midnight. xoxoxoxox enjoy your morning coffeeee
My goodness...
That is a quick and sudden death.
Well, I am glad that you can get your daily dose of java, now.
I can sympathize with you, despite never drinking a drop of coffee a day. I am excercising empathy.
If I didn't have tea, then I am not a happy camper either.
Different substance, same fix!!
Just so you know...my heart was racing in sympathy.
Sheesh.
Oh I was worried for you right up to the end of the post!
Phew - you've got your coffee maker.
(Then I laughed : )
I love this post...I think I would react that same way!!
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