We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person's feelings.
It's impossible; the two acts contradict.
What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others!
How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries!
It's good to care about other people and their feelings; it's essential to care about ourselves too.
Sometimes, to take good care of ourselves, we need to make a choice.
Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about never hurting other people's feelings.
We can replace that message with a new one; one that says it's not okay to hurt ourselves.
Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings.
That's okay.
We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too.
The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allows others to be responsible for themselves.
Caring works.
Caretaking doesnt.
We can learn to walk the line between the two.
8 comments:
oh! how I wish I'd learnt this one a couple of years ago
but I didn't
now I am. . .
. . .I hope
caring v caretaking - a very healthy juxtaposition (unlike my comments of yesterday, which probably didn't help too much and for which I apologise. . .)
thank you fairies
(word ver: you-roar)(!)
No need to apologize, silly woman.
I know I'm cared about--and that's an awesomely wonderful thing.
(((((((((( ILTV ))))))))))
As are you!
But, what if the thing they need to learn is how to take care of their own feelings? C:)
sometimes I print out the little fairy ditties because they make me smile...because they are gentle reminders.
today I SHOULD print out the message...and read it over and over and over again...
sigh.
Wise fairy.... she could have a job as a therapist, then I could have a little lie down.
xx
Hi Mel,
It's a tough line to walk, but I sure wish I had learned to make that walk a long time ago!
Best wishes,
Skeeter
Exactly.
Craig, well, that's their responsibility.
Thanks for checking in, Mel. I know I will always find encouragement through your blog and I just really really really needed to here this after the day I just had. I've never been good at setting boundaries to protect myself, because I'm always so concerned with the other person, but it's something God has been teaching me, so thanks for the reminder.
Didn't know, bytheway, that the girl was pregnant! Congrats on another grandbaby :)
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