Moneymoneymoney........

*sigh*
I don't like money.
I don't balance a checkbook.
I have this internal warning that goes off when it 'feels' like I've spent my share.
I call it good to go...I tell myself 'no more spending' and I just don't bother to pay any more attention to it...until the next paycheck. LOL That's my system. It's worked for me for years.

I also have/had a trust fund that was managed by a trust officer.
My step-mother established one for me and didn't want me dealing with the pressures from other 'family' who might think it was 'unfair' or that they were 'entitled'(strange how money does that, eh?)--she never had children and I was 'her daughter' because *I* said so! The kiddos were HER grandkids because SHE said so.

Truthfully, I've never really 'worried' about finances. I had this 'pot' to draw from should I need major help...and with the years of cancers/treatments/doctor bills--it was a blessing to have that trust to draw from.
Honestly--it was enough to show up to do the deal with the oncologists without having to worry about how in the world I was going to pay for chemotherapy at thousands of dollars a visit!
It helped when it came to putting kiddos through school......
I never 'relied' on it to make ends meet, day to day. But if it hadn't been there--I would have been in BIG financial trouble.
HUGE financial trouble.............

The letter came from the trust officer on Friday. I didn't bother to open it--I was too darn 'braindead' from work and frankly, I thought it was just another report from the trust officer on the status of the account.
Nope.........NOT the case when I read the letter yesterday.

She wants to close out the trust fund and hand the money over to me--and distribute some to the kiddos.........if that's okay with me and the kiddos. She'd be drawing from the principle to pay the fees for managing the trust.....apparently that's something they don't like to do. *shrugs* All I know is I'm suppose to think about it and let her know.

*thinking*
I don't like this........LOL
Makes me nervous.... I toyed with sticking the letter in file thirteen so I could pretend I never got it! I figured she's just ring the house.....better to deal in the realities and stop 'faffing about' (as the Brit so lovingly puts it! LOL)

I talked with the girl yesterday and asked if she was where she needed to be to manage a chunk of money. She got all wide eyed, got quiet and asked if she could think about it. LOL NOT the average response. You'da thought she'd have been picking out that shiny car in short order.
She called me last night and told me she thought she'd be okay--as long as she could get some guidance. Wow.........she's grown up a whole lot!
As for the guidance.......Don't look in THIS direction! LOL But I'll help her find some.

And then there's the boy with the twins on the way.....who, undoubtedly could use some financial assistance. If he didn't use it for one big party that is...... I asked the girl to have him ring me. He did.
"Sure--what do I have to do?"
I worry what he'll actually do with it.
I guess that's not mine to decide, huh?
Maybe I need to stay grateful that we're here TODAY as opposed to two years ago......

And me?
Heck if I know.....
I've been fretting about how to get two kiddos' heads wrapped around it...........well, more like I was fretting about how to get the girls' head wrapped around it.

ACK.
And NONE of this addresses the sadness for not having my step-mother in my life or in the lives of the kiddos..........