If you could 'take back' one thing you've said in your life, what would it be?'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'....I always tell the kiddos and families I work with that that saying is one of the biggest lies on the face of the planet.
Cuz it is.
I remember vividly the words my father said to me--and the pain therein.
The bruises are a faded memory and have turned to just words.
The bruises are a faded memory and have turned to just words.
But the words.......stuck with me long past the healing of the physical.
I told my father many equally wrong and painfully awful things.
The day I screamed at him what a rotten father he was, how everyone was 'right' about what a rotten father he was, how I should have 'got going' while the 'going was good' along with all the rest of them....that he didn't love me and should have been the one who died, not my mother...
He cried.
And I was glad.
I got what I wanted at that moment. I got to leave the house and do what I wanted to do.
And I did damage beyond repair at that moment. I just didn't know it.
I gave him more reasons to cry at night and I just didn't know it, nor did I care to know it.
I got what I wanted at that moment. I got to leave the house and do what I wanted to do.
And I did damage beyond repair at that moment. I just didn't know it.
I gave him more reasons to cry at night and I just didn't know it, nor did I care to know it.
I cut him to the quick--and wanted to....for a lousey moment on the town to do as I wanted to do AT THAT MOMENT.
"Sticks and stones....."
Lies.
5 comments:
I count myself exceptionally blessed ... I cannot think of anything I've said that I would want to "take back." I try to live my life with as few regrets as possible. So far, I've got only one ... and that one is just a useful reminder/representation of my life stage then.
I hv said a few things I'd like to take back too.. I hope things get better for you and your Dad..
I spent years wishing my dad had died instead of my mum, but we weren't the kind of family who ever talked to each other so what I would have wanted to say in a moment like yours I was never in the position to say
years later I said something probably equally damaging when I was very damaged and he was being continuously damaging to me
I have no regrets tho; yet; I sometimes wonder if that day will come
there is one thing I said that I wished for years I could take back - but the person I said it to changed part of their life for the better because of what I said; so I don't know if I went back and took it back what would have happened to that person
it wasn't a nice thing to say and shamed me for years, altho it was truthful
maybe the "learning" they derived would have happened some other way, possible a more positive way?
but I have probably said less truthful stuff since as a result of that one thing, and probably still do; which I don't know is a good thing overall: holding back on a truth, for the sake of not upsetting someone?
hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
now that I have a kid, I can truthfully say if she said some of the things I did to my dad, to me, i'd be crushed. But he wasn't letting me be who I was and I still feel like he was unfair. So, do I regret it? Yep. Do I hope he wondered why i was so angry with him? Yep.
There's a little thing about that in the movie "You've Got Mail" where Meg Ryan wishes she had the ability to think of the exact right comeback to someone she doesn't like. Tom Hanks character says its not that great because when you say the exact right thing at the right time, you almost inevitably feel bad. Did you see that movie?
I couldn't remember for a minuter what the worst thing i ever said was...then I did. I so wish I hadn't and i can't ever take it back and I can't undo the damage it caused.
The worst thing was, I said it to make one person feel happier and that person told the one it was about. I could have made the sad person happier by being a better person myself.
Lazy, careless and thoughtless. Wickedness really and much worse than what comes out when you're in a screaming rage! Well it feels worse anyway!
Post a Comment