When did I feel most connected /least connected?
Why is it, in moments of emotional crisis, I grab on to intellect and reason?
"Voice of reason"......I'm continually the "voice of reason"......
Especially with himself.
Especially as of late.....
He's all about the 'feelings' that are attached to the circumstances.
I do understand that.
It's not my method of operation--but I do understand that.
I kick into 'do what needs to be done--fall apart later'.
Truth be told, sometimes I don't even bother to fall apart later.
There's a 'greater plan'...and my G-d is an awesome G-d.
Himself is kinda one of those 'arm flappers' who reacts emotionally.
It's just not how I deal with 'stuff'.
I love him just the way he is.
He's not developed his own relationship with The Big Guy.
It's not that he doesn't honour where I am, and what I embrace.
He does.
He tells me he envies what I have.
I ensure him it's his gift as well.
He's already got it--he just doesn't 'see' it.
I'm familiar with barriers.
I created a whole lot of my own.
It took what it took to get me past those barriers.
It was, and continues to be, worth it.
Still......I become 'the voice of reason'.
It's what he'll hear.
It's simple acceptance of where he's at.
That's true for a lot of folks.
And sometimes, it's where I have to start for me. I switch off, get into 'the voice of reason' mode and take care of whatever needs attended to.
Maybe it's years of working in one crisis after another--helping other's deal in their own crises is what I 'DO'...... Being 'the voice of reason' is a practiced role.
Every once in a while, after the crisis--I get into that 'make that make sense' mode.
I look up, frown and tell The Big Guy......"MAKE that make sense!"
I'm a bit demanding sometimes...... There ain't no 'ask' to it sometimes....
And golly--like all things are going to make 'earthly' sense?
No.....they aren't going to.
I'm privy to just a smidgeon of what's true.
Sometimes He connects the dots for me.
(Lots of times He connects the dots for me......)
Sometimes I get to do the 'wait'.
I don't like that 'wait' jazz.
I absolutely love it when the lightbulb goes on and the dots get connected.
But this 'wait' jazz.....
*sigh*
'The voice of reason' got him there. I get that.
'The voice of reason' got him to remain when he didn't want to remain. He was present when he needed to BE present....I get that.
Now we wait?
Somehow not 'disconnecting' in the wait is getting a bit tricky for me.
You'd think by now I'd know better......
9 comments:
your g*d is an awesome g*d
and your voice of reason is very reassuring (says another arm-flapper!)(funny, I can be reasonable when it comes to others, but not when it comes to myself. . . still - that's a journey I'm happy to be on
(-:
I love your certainty about G~~ It must make for an easier life sometimes having that faith.
I look for it, and sometimes glimpse it, but the faith doesn't always hang around for any length of time.
I think it's a cultural thing as much as anything , us Brits just don't do religion in the same way...
xx
I am another VOR (voice of reason)...who delays the fall apart for later on.
Intellect and reason are ALSO gifts from God ya know. (well...that is my story anyway)
I think more than a couple of us here in the comment section have benefited from your gifts.
You are pretty good at doing the "heavy lifting"...maybe that is why God have you to himself?
Even when I KNOW God will connect the dots I still look up and frown....implore and beseech for clear and direct.
impatient bitch that I am.
still praying for ya all
here's kinda a funny story...or at least I think it is kinda funny.
why back when I first found this special place...I was a bit confused until I could read back and catch up.
I knew who "The Brit" was.
however...
at first...when you wrote of "himself"...I thought you were talking about God.
smile.
Oh the waiting bit is so hard sometimes. For dots to connect (or for the time to come when you can decide to fall apart if you still want to :)
And when you're the voice of reason, sometimes you have to go on being it long after the original crisis is over! That's hard too.
Yup....
...I hear you loud and clear about the waiting, Mel.
...and I can also hear you loud and clear when it comes to demanding.
*I can get very testy.
It's the inbetween place that always tests my faith and patience. For me, I think it's more about placing too much pressure on myself - expectations.
You and himself are such a wonderful balance. I can always hear it in your voice, the love and respect you have for each other.
Thanks for sharing, dear lady.
I just LOVE these "Sleeping with Bread's."
X
Waiting - not so good at that.
Voice of reason - always want to be that, yet then there is the boat-rocking part of me.
G-d is awesome - that sticker is on my office door as a reminder to me that on the not so awesome days - G-d still is.
May you be wrapped in a blanket of love and rest all week long.
I guess I have some reading to do, but I do know that reason comes easier when one has faith. Just sayin'.
Waiting. I'm not so much about that either. But then who of us are in this instant gratification world in which we live?
Post a Comment