Sleeping with Bread

Okay, Big Guy.....

There's plenty I'm really, really grateful for. And I know I'm about to sound like a kvetching, temper tantrumming child.
But--

I'm weary. And I'm a BIT concerned you'll be making arrangements for me to rest. LOL
See, I don't always 'appreciate' the arrangements you make for me to GET rest, even if I DO end up 'getting it' (in more ways than one....).
I don't wanna DO some of the things that are on my plate for the doings.
I'd prefer to sit on the patio and pretend I'm retired, yaknow? Could we do that instead, please?

Yeah, yeah....I know the deal.

I know there's still a usefulness for me being here, elsewise I wouldn't be. But really...things need to slow down a bit. I ain't as young as I used to be--and I'm GLAD for that in some ways, not so glad in others.
What's the deal about 'getting older' having to LOOK like it, anyway?

I really AM weary.
I know part of it's my doings. k......more than 'part'...... I know I've mismanaged the house you put my soul in. I know some of that was deliberate on my part. Boy was THAT dumb on my part....
I don't like the long term consequences of some of my choices--couldn't you just wave some magic wand and do your thing?

k....pushin' it, I know......

Yaknow, I look back at the week and I admit it--I've been arrogant sometimes. I've been pushy and demanding and ungrateful, off and on.
At least once this week I've 'heard' and shot the messenger and gone about the business of disobeying..... Yes, I can still convince myself that MY way makes for a better solution--a more loving one, even! I shot my mouth off (Yup.... You KNOW it still happens) and 'forget' that MY truth isn't always THE truth for the rest of the population on the face of the earth.

And I've lie. OHmygosh--about the stupidest, most obvious things...I admit that I make a game of it sometimes cuz it's 'fun' for me to watch others sit and spin and get all kindsa flustered about buying into the lie to begin with....LOL
Still......

k......YOU made me this way--YOU FIX IT.

Right....I know, 'good try'....

I also look back to see all these nifty keeno things that have gotten dropped into my lap for the doings. *sigh* On one hand I'm grumbling about being weary.....on the other I'm all about having the opportunities that get handed to me cuz it's 'game ON!' and I do so love 'game ON!'.

Can't I have my cake and eat it, too?
Yeah, well.....I can want what I want, right?
Geeze, I'm such a whiner.....LOL

Really....it's been a cool week with bunches of stuff tossed my way. It's been really awesome. I got to be a part of some really cool moments and I'm really humbled by that......truly..... Standing up to give testimony to someone else's greatness in the lives of kiddos and families, getting to hold a wee one, getting to talk about what it was like then and what it's like now, getting to be a part of something new to others--that'll bring energy and good things to people we really want to help get different in their lives, getting to be present for some folks who really, REALLY needed someone present--getting to play and laugh and chastise the Brit....LOL
I really don't have a whole lot to kvetch about. (LOL...I know--then why do it?!)

And today I get to suit up and show up for the meeting, the meeting after the meeting and for time with the wee one. Nice way to begin a new week...even if it does mean more miles on the car and more people to see, things to do.....and no patio time.

Ah well.
You're probably saving me from all those harmful UV rays and giving the bunnies much needed nutrients that can be found ONLY in my potted plants. LOL

Gosh, You make me smile...

Thanks for that.

Suddenly I'm not as weary as I was...
Gee. Go figure.......

Soooo.... with that--

Amen.

The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff.